What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

What do you mean son?

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True - how I loved my mum!

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Why is Reagan seen as the best president in the USA when he literally destroyed the American economy with trickle down system and was strongly against worker unions?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Do you know what she said mum?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

When have you been in an accident where the other person involved blatantly lied to the police about what transpired?

What! how could you do that?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

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Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

How does one succeed in life?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!